Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mats, Minahs & Monster Energy. (MMM)

Was chilling and having a smoke at Yishun dam last midnight with Joe Semangat and we noticed this little kid, roughly around the age of 4 to 5 years old, running around the park with what looks like his adolescent parents some distance away on a bench making out and not even keeping an eye on that poor child. That kid remimded us of our dear friend Budak Terbiar because he grew up having teenage parents who had a shotgun marriage when his mom was pregnant with him and then his dad left them 5 years later when he found out she's a whore and that Budak Terbiar wasn't his kid to begin with. So Budak Terbiar kinda grew up playing and running around alone half the time, just like the kid we were looking at. We decided to nickname this kid Budak Terbiar The Second.


The stubborn smokers at the smoking corner.

Anyways, we started a guessing game to figure out what kind of parents this kid have. Joe said they must be a young couple who fell in love in high school and decided to settle down early. I disagreed. "They couldn't be married." I said. "They're probably a matrep and a minahrep." Joe asked why so I pointed out to the kid's tee. Budak Terbiar The Second was wearing a t-shirt that has a Monster Energy logo on it. Joe still didn't get my drift, so i explained...

Monster Energy is an energy drink much like Redbull. It's been banned in Singapore and many other countries because it contains taurine and some other health risking shit which I'm not too sure about and too lazy to get into. It is visibly impossible to purchase a can of it anywhere in Singapore but you can smuggle some from US.

You see.. Mats and minahs, they don't know this but they became fans of it, started wearing the printed t-shirts, pasted the stickers and decals on their bikes, have a photo of it on their desktop wallpaper, set their jailbroken iphone theme to have the logos everywhere, joined the fan page on Facebook, excitedly screams "KIWAAAAAAK!!! MONSTER ENERGY SIAL!!" each time they passes by a pasar malam store selling any of the mechants, but they did all that way before they even tasted a can of it or even know what the hell it really is! Weirdest trend I've ever seen! Mats & Minahs, You're fanatic of things you don't even know!

According to research, it became a trend simply because it is a trend and it is a trend because its simply a trend. There is no other simpler way for me to explain this shit. Monster Energy mainly sponsors racing athletes, and so motorbike servicing shops here in Singapore provides Monster Energy decals. So naturally, since these matreps wanna look all manly, berg, and shit, they choose a sticker that sounds and looks as fierce to put on their bike and apparently that fierce looking thing is Monster Energy since I heard there is normally not a wide range of decals to choose from anyways.

Insta-fierce.

So now that we already know why these matreps are sudden fans of Monster, lets move along to the Minahreps. Why the fuck do these minahreps like Monster? Ans: Because it is a trend. Because their guy friends know monster, Because their boyfriends know monster, So they pretend they also know monster. Because their friends wear a shirt that is printed monster, they also buy a shirt thats printed monster, and not to forget, these pasar malam stores sells kids size monster shirts too, and these bitches are like "imma buy this shit too so the abang-abang motor knows we're hip and up to date and that my anak luar nikah is cool and wearing an in thing" and which is where my point on Budak Terbiar The Second finally comes in.... 

Budak Terbiar The Second's parents are matreps and minahreps. Point proven. End of story.

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