Who is Jack?

If you are acquainted with Mats or any Malay dude per say, I'm sure you've heard of Jack.. I'm not quite sure who he is but I know Jack is not like a John in John Doe. At first I thought Jack is like V from V For Vendetta, Or that Jack is anonymous, and could be anyone. So the other day, Joe, Budak Terbiar and I hung out at the biggest smoking corner in Singapore, Haji Lane, and BT kept ending every of his sentences with 'Jack'. I was kinda confuse. What ever happen to his usual 'lah' or 'siak' and 'sial'? & since BT is like my only stereotypical mat friend, I took the opportunity to ask "WHO THE FUCK IS JACK?" and the conversation went like this

"Kau tak kenal Jack?!"
"Sape sia Jack?"
"Ada lah, Jack."
"So I'm Jack?"
"bukan cam gitu, jack"
"then?"
"kau takkan paham la,jack"
"so I'm jack?"
"kau bukan, jack."
"i'm not jack? but you just called me jack."
"lupekan sudah, Jack..."
"WHO THE FUCK IS JACK?!!"
"Kau tak kenal Jack?!"


and the conversation went over in circles.. Yeah. Fucking matrep was trolling on me! I know it's kinda dumb for me to layan his nonsense but I'm curious as shit. Jack has been a mystery for far too long. I need to know!

So I did some googling, went though countless of Tagged profiles through the 'Meet Me' shit (yeah I reactivated my tagged account because why not?), went eavesdropping on the mats talking, made a mind map, drew a family tree, done my research and found out Jack's surname is in fact Schitt. Initially Jack bin Schitt but he converted to Mormons so it's just Jack Schitt. So after finding out his name, I found myself in a loss yet again. Just who is Jack Schitt? Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, and the whole mind map family tree shit, I found the answer to your burning questions! Jack is the son of Awe Schitt!

Awe Schitt, a security guard working for Certis Cisco, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple bought a house and lived in a 2 room flat in Toa Payoh where they produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against his parents' objections, Deap Schitt got into a shotgun marriage with his cousin Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout and a current employee for Wendy's. After being married 2 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced because Jack became acquainted with the notorious gang, Salakau. He is now known as Boi Jackie Spade Bunga, But With him constantly being depressed over his failed marriage, the Teck Whye Lane kids made fun of him and calls him Boi Bunga. He is now under 24 hour observation at the Singapore Boys Home for suicidal tendencies.

Noe Schitt later married Harun Bin Teinmeh, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Nor Schitt Teinmeh after converting to Islam.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chick N. Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a combined void deck wedding ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.