You're not humble or modest, You're just ugly.

Was smoking with the usual Stubborn Smokers today and Budak Terbiar (yeah apparently that's his nickname. More about him will be written in a future blog post) started showing Joe and me pictures of his ex-girlfriends, girls he dated and the girls he's going for right now. Then and there, Joe and I noticed one thing, it's kind of something that's not hard to miss, it's like totally in the face and in the way of everything. They're all fat! Budak Terbiar likes fat girls! And when I say fat, I don't mean plump, chubby or rounded, I'm talking about morbidly obese kinda fat. So I questioned the dude about his BBW (Bloated Beastly Whore in Porn language) preferences and he replied me with "I don't go for looks, I go for the personality." You shuree, bro?

As soon as he left for his BBW date to the food fair at the Singapore Expo, Joe and I started our own investigation, tried to have a mind like Budak Terbiar and be in his shoes. We only wanted to understand why he likes fat girls and we knew the whole "I only go for personality" shit is not true.

This is our conclusion:

Every guy wants a girl with big boobs. Problem is, some are too ugly to get a hot chick with huge tits, so they settle with a fat hoe instead because apparently those chest fats can be passed off as racks. Ugly dudes like Budak Terbiar would say he only go for a person's personality because the painful truth is, he's too ugly to go for someone with looks. He's those creepy kinda guys who's so sick in the head that he doesn't mind rubbing his face into a fat dude's chest just to feel some tits when he's on a dry spell. That bad.

You know, before he showed us pictures of those girls, he said "Well.. she's not that hot or whatever.. I only go for the personality". Its sentences like that that always got me thinking. How bad can she look til he has to make a disclaimer warning? Why is he making sure I'm prepared not to expect a hotstuff or whatever? and when we finally saw those photos... daaaamn... thats a huge whale! I tried hinting that those hoes are too big for him to handle, but he's always quick to defend his claim by saying "no lah.. she's just chubby.. and she has big boobs!" Fuck you that's not chubby, THATS FAT! And those are not boobs, THOSE ARE FATS! Okay I understand you'd want something to squeeze and shit but that fat piece of turd is gonna suffocate the living hell out of you! & worst, they look like dominant females, the kind that takes control in bed.

I'm not saying fat girls are terrible, I do not have anything against fat girls. It's just that you don't have to settle with a fat chick just cause you want big tits. It's just wrong. It's disgusting. It shows how low your standards are, it shows how low YOU are.

5 Things found in fat people's skin fold

 From holytaco.com

Fat people have a knack for being really really fat. And sometimes they get so fat that objects get caught in the folds in their fat folds. Here are five examples.

5. A Turkey Sandwich

According to an emergency room doctor: “A morbidly obese man with a large abdominal pannus (refer to overhanging image on the right) came in exhibiting red, irritated skin around the abdomen. It looked like a routine skin infection. But what was the cause? During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds. The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.”

4. Loose Change

According to an RN: “We got a lady who was admitted because her many decubiti needed debriding (aka, her bedsores needed to be treated). She had several of them, and was so fat, she was as wide as she was tall. I took all of her clothes off and prepared to dress and document all of her wounds. Part of her abdomen and one of her breasts were greenish; I thought she had a fungus or something. I started wiping it off and followed it up to a skin fold, where I found . . . a quarter, a dime, and a penny–that was oxidizing and was turning her skin green. There were perfectly round sores underneath each coin. The smell was lovely too.”

3. A Packet of Duck Sauce, other stuff

Perhaps MacGuyver put on a few pounds. According to a hospital worker: “A 600+ lb woman comes in. It takes 8 people to transfer her from the ambulance stretcher to the bed. When removing said patient’s clothing from her, in the folds of her abdomen, we find: a paperclip, a plastic fork and a package of duck sauce.”

2. A Couch (Yes, a couch)

According to a Stuart, Florida news station: “Gayle Laverne Grinds, 40, died Wednesday, after a failed six-hour effort to dislodge her from the couch in her home. Workers say the home was filthy, and Grinds was too large to get up from the couch to even use the bathroom. Everyone going inside the home had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air. Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed. She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch.”

1. Pot

According to a Jacksonville, Florida (it’s always Florida) news station: “Officers said Cedric Webb, 25, was at the Montgomery Correctional Center on the Northside on Friday night when officers searching for contraband told him to lift his shirt. According to the police report, when Webb raised his shirt, the officer saw two bags of marijuana and tobacco tucked into his stomach fat. Investigators said the drugs then fell to the ground. The report said Webb would not explain how he got the banned substances into the facility. The arrest report describes Webb as 6 feet 2 inches tall and 290 pounds and his build as ‘heavy.’”